So .....  my grandmother has been struggling with Alzymers - I'm not gonna bother fussing with the correct spelling tonight.  It's late and I need to get some  sleep.

Anyway, my grandmother has been struggling with Alzymers for the last few years.  I can't remember if I've mentioned it here or not but she's gotten severe the last few months.  She's never gotten the nasty side I hear about so much, though.  She's remained a sweety to the end.  But her quality of life has been nill.  So my mom finally decided to start reducing her meds and told the hospice folks to not take her to dinner if she didn't want to eat.  She's ended up sleeping a lot, kind of just mumbles and aimlessly wanders about when she does get up to walk and lately she's been falling down a lot.  Well, last week she'd suffered a really bad fall and hurt her head.  My mom said no to the tests they wanted to run. And tonight I got a call from my mom. Hospice had called her and told her that my grandmother is in the process of dying.  We don't know yet how much longer she may have. She could pass on tonight or within the next few days.

We went and said our good-byes but it was scary and I was uncomfortable.  I found myself not knowing what to say but also feeling relieved that she was finally moving on.  My mom's been stressed to breaking, bless her heart, and my grandma just wasn't herself.  She's a stubborn fighter, which is one of the major reasons she's held on so long.  But it's time.  For her sake.  And also for my mom.

Anyway, we all told her we loved her, asked her to say 'hi' to grandpa and thanked her for all she'd done.  My greatest memories of my grandparents are our younger days when we went camping and stayed the night and did our little 'painting sessions' with grandma. I also remember going with her to some of her bowling tournaments.  I think that's where I started enjoying the sport though I royally suck at it.  ^^

She's always had a sense of humor and an infectious laugh.  I'm going to miss her.  I still miss my grandpa, but I want her to move on.  But I look forward to the day when we can paint together again and maybe even do that life-long dream of going horse-back riding with her.  That's one thing I don't think we ever did.  She'd always told me that I drew them well.  She grew up with a horse or two during the depression.  Always been a great, hard worker.  A sensetive spirit with enough spice to send ya skippin' for days if you sass her the wrong way.  XD  She and my Aunt Salli are the reasons I love to doodle so much.  It's in the family and its something we have in common. She was a beautiful painter and I hope to be able to paint more some day so I can rekindle that flame.

Sooo.... to make a long entry short, the reason I posted those images tonight was because I may not have time the next few days.  I've been meaning to post them a while now but other things have gotten in the way.  I gotta finish that second commission and then I'm gonna try and finish the last one, but I am STILL always taking commissions if anyone is looking.

I really can't wait for the day when grandma can just be grandma again.  But it was scary seeing her tonight.  I couldn't stay long and I feel bad, but it was scary watching her breath the way she was.  I think I would've had a panic attack if she'd done something wierd while I was there.  I know that makes me a coward but ... I couldn't help her.  So I at least stayed long enough to say good-bye and thankyou.  

She really will be missed.

The funeral may be this weekend.

Wish us all luck!

No.  Wish my grandma luck.  For some reason she was always afraid of dying, but I hope this process is teaching her that there are good things and even better people on the other side.

God Bless her.

And God Bless y'all.

NIGHT!  C: